My Testimony

Introductory 

 

Welcome to my Blog page for the World Race. Here I will be posting life updates, how the Lord has been working in my life, prayers, things put on my heart, struggles, testimonies, and needs. I intend to be honest and vulnerable on this Blog in order for prayers to be specific and so ya’ll understand where I am spiritually in this journey. I will need every prayer and every dollar to start, battle through, and finish this mission while continuing to stay rooted and completely focused on Christ without distraction. 

 

Anyways… My Testimony

    Many people have asked why I have made the switch to World Race; So I will share. I would also like to introduce my testimony. I have known who Jesus is since I could produce a thought, my parents made sure to introduce and practice christianity. I guess I just didn’t comprehend when the pastor or my parents would say that we are saved from a relationship with Christ. Sure he loved me, sure he cared for me, sure he watched over me, but I wasn’t his son. I would try to pursue the fruits of the spirit(which I memorized at like 7 years old, huge flex) and attempt to manufacture them and express them; Well that doesn’t work. If the spirit isn’t in you then you don’t have the fruits of the spirit!

I didn’t have the Lord to guard me so the devil put on his gloves and got to work. He introduced the idea of lust and impurity to 10 year old me in hopes to plant a seed and destroy me. I am not saying that church every Sunday and youth group every Wednesday was meaningless. Foundations in what it looks like to love the Lord, practice fellowship, and love others were rooted into my bones. I was also taught important stories and meanings from the bible and the gospels. I was a shy young turt, getting called on in class would produce tomato cheeks and tears down my face. I attempted to socialize by joining sports, I sucked(my mom will never admit it though). At around this age my dad was diagnosed with stage 3 brain cancer. That isn’t my piece of testimonial but it affected me enough to share. Big trauma causing things such as this have a way of creeping into the door without ringing the bell. Slowly, without notice, from the pain and stress and worry and anxiety and hopelessness I had towards the idea of my dad dying, I lost my emotions. I blocked out the pain. I didn’t discover this epiphany until last August, it had been a long 7 years.

I went through MiddleSchool and part of Highschool like a robot. I remember almost nothing from these years because there was something blocking my emotion and happiness. Sophomore year of Highschool I entered my first relationship. It was amazing to experience someone caring for me on such a deep level, but little did I know the Lord could love me infinitely more. Complications arose, things ended, and tears shed. It’s a mystery whether or not I had Jesus at this point. If I did then I surely wasn’t listening to him. I entered into a rebound relationship within a 2 week period. I was lonely and the only way I thought I could find emotion was through companionship. Neither of us had boundaries, we began down a path of sexual sin that kept declining. Thankfully, after 9 months, the Lord pulled me from the desert. A loved coworker of mine once said, “Everyone takes their turn in the desert.” Because of Jesus’ love, he came with a rescue helicopter. I went on a 1 week adventure trip with church, which is where I met my amazing brother-In-Christ and mentor Josh. I was also introduced to the idea of vulnerability. Verbalizing my sin convicted me to a point of unrest. A raging buzz of conviction filled my head until I decided it was time for a change. My mother and I talked for hours when I got back(She’s amazing btw) and the next morning I cried out of joy because I was released from the grasp of sin and destruction I had gotten myself into(aka I broke up with her). From that point on, July last year, I truly truly began my walk with Jesus. After the breakup I battled a small season of depression which I fed with sad music and a lack of socialization. It’s funny how a little prayer can fix that real quick.

With senior year comes college visits. I visited Grand Canyon University twice, and I looooved it. The Lord created a divine appointment for me to meet my friend Hannah on this college visit(I’ll get to that later). Through my senior year my relationship and prayer life with the Lord continued to grow. I sacrificed myself to be thrown into the fire of refinement and nasty worldly things started to melt away; I was becoming more like gold, more like Jesus. I will trust him whether I feel him or not. “But if I go to the east, He is not there; if I go to the west, I do not find him. When he is at work in the north, I do not see him; when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him. But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. My feet have closely followed his steps; I have kept to his way without turning aside. I have not departed from the commands of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread”(Job 23:8-12). It came time to register for college. I had completed everything and was set to go to GCU, but something felt off. I felt uncomfortable and lacked peace about the decision to attend GCU. I made the smart decision of praying about it. About 2 months of prayer got me to a coffee shop with one of our church staff Kenyan. She shared part of her testimony and her past which included 9 months of missions. Afterwards she sent an email which held a variety of different missions opportunities. It’s only the Lords doing that directed me and “highlighted” The World Race. The mission statement was on point, so I sent in an interview! It was long and rigorous which made me even more confident in the organization. I was accepted, did some fundraising training, and that’s where my fundraising process began. Fundraising has been a huge opportunity for me to rely, trust, and grow in the Lord. It’s humbling, and I’ve only felt joy(and a little anxiety) through the journey. The Lord provides, I put in the work, and then thank Him for the gift.

Through continued prayer, I have been able to re-attain my emotion from before my dad’s cancer. I can cry tears of sadness and joy, I can feel down, I can feel immense joy and happiness, I can love others, and my cheeks can get red once again. My friend(not just friends, kinda complicated though) Hannah has been a continued support for me. The Lord uses her as a vessel towards her community and towards me. I’ve never seen someone so saturated and overflowing with Jesus. I can feel the spirit in me, I can see him working in others, and I can hear the stories of him working in others. I am blessed to have him, I am not worthy, and yet he loves me despite my mistakes and sins and battles. “In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith–of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire–may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed”(1 Peter 1:6-8). When I accepted Christ he pulled me from the fire of eternal suffering in Hell and he threw me into the fire of refinement. He does that because he loves us, he wants us to trust him. I am so ready to go on this trip, be tested by the fire, and become more like him. All of you who have supported me get to continue my testimony and my mission for christ. You guys will see weekly updates of my testimony being formed. I love Jesus so much I cannot fathom and I cannot describe. I cannot deny that he lives within me. If you accept the spirit, if you are connected to the vine, the fruits of the spirit will abide. “They Triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death”(Revelation 12:11). My testimony is a weapon, I am not afraid to share it, I am not afraid to be vulnerable and honest for the sake of a King.