No need to beg, enjoy. 

Dear loving friends, family, and community,

     Thank you for assembling time to read my blog post. I pray that the Lord touches you; I pray that my testimonies will bring you closer to our king. The last two weeks, the 24th of September through the 8th of October, I had been in Jackson Kentucky. In Jackson, our ministry was working on homes needing to be stripped because of a major flood. The Lord revealed much, and coached me thoroughly in my time there. The first week of my time in Kentucky, I felt as if there was a cage locked around my heart. There felt a lack of vision, my pot of joy left empty, as if I was suffering internally. During this time, on a hill with a random stray cat, I wrote the following journal entry. 

“Just a Glimpse”

     Here I lay, on the adventure and the dream I had so longed for, unsatisfied I lay. My head to the leaves, my eyes to the stars, crossed by power lines, and my heart to questioning, why so empty? As if a squared room I am stuck in, periodically seeing the glimpse of light from an open window. A cat ponders about, displaying its affection and desire for me, but nothing of it I want. Why am I so pale, so prone to an ill-mind? Why is my emotion like a weed, so shallow, so temporary. Is there something missing to be encapsulated by the full weight of God's goodness and creation? Surely I am with him, but incompitnent of anything but a staleness I experience. The beauty of the Lord is a gift so rare and so tender to experience. Lord willing, may I experience him more. May the veil be torn. Allow me more than just a glimpse. 

     This morning I was left with an answer as to why in a sermon. I have been seeking the approval and the emotional presence of the Lord through my daily actions. Truly I am guilty of this for all of my walk with the Lord. The suffering I was experiencing was from the lack of indulgence in the presence and enjoyment of the free gift, Lord Jesus. If I didn’t start my day in prayer, I would deem myself as unworthy of intimate prayer or presence for the remainder of the day. If I didn’t beg for his presence, I felt as if his love wouldn't shine as bright, like he would pull away from me. These are all lies of the devil! We were not designed to dance around what is right and wrong, what is good and bad. We do not receive love for our works, but for our simple surrender. Truly the Lord calls us to simply rest in his presence, to sit under his wings. I was missing what was right in front of me, and maybe you are too. We can read our bibles until we memorize them, we can pray every minute of our day, we can be missionaries, we can be legalistic to perfection, but that’s not the point of Christ dying. He simply wants to let you in on life. He died so we may be free, so we may walk and rest in his spirit. 

     When we rest in the Lord, the ill mind is defogged, our joy is overflowing, the Lord's presence is felt, and truly the veil is torn. A piece of scripture speaking life to me says, “But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the spirit, and where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit”(2 Corinthians 3:16-18). I ask you, how much joy are you willing to endure? How much of the Lord are you willing to simply enjoy? I encourage you to find a time and space to sit down, and just enjoy his presence. 

Verses that have spoke to me:

• (2 Corinthians 3:16-18)

• (2 Corinthians 5:16-21)

• (Literally just all of 2 Corinthians, it’s so good)

Songs that have spoke to me:

• Brother(NeedToBreathe)

• At The Cross(Acoustic)(Hillsong Young & Free)

• The Wild Earth(Young Oceans&Josh Garrels)

Logistical Information:

• Leaving for Airport this Friday the 14th

• Will be traveling through Phoenix, San Francisco, Taiwan, and Phnom Phen Cambodia to arrive in Siem Reap. 

• Travel will be 5 days long… yikes

If you feel led to continue donating, there is a way! Some of my teammates are not fully funded yet, so they could use your support. If you would like to do so, please use this link and pick a racer. Thanks! https://www.worldrace.org/route/2022-activation-route/ 

Love you all!